Jealousy vs. Envy

I always used to say that jealousy was a sign of affection, a sign that showed you cared enough, or was very sportsman-like. Surprisingly, I think being a previous athlete had something to do with it (now I'm just making excuses.) It was just the feeling of always being better, and the fact that winning was- in most cases- everything.

I thought jealousy was some innate emotion that was felt when I just cared for something or someone, almost a denial in a way that I convinced myself it was healthy. It was only up until recently it finally hit me- I had it all wrong. There are two types of emotions which many people confuse themselves with: envy and jealousy.

Being envious, stems from a wishful thinking of wanting something that someone else has, however, you can be envious of somebody’s situation and make common cause with them (i.e. your friend looks good after working out, so you start working out with them to make it a collaborative event). Jealousy on the other hand, is altogether negative and an extremely regressive state of mind. It's the inner demon that tells you, "since I don't have that, you can't have it either."

Surprisingly, most societies seem to characterize jealousy as a natural reaction following an act of when something important to you is shared with someone else. This has things completely upside down. Jealousy does not derive from the sharing of something special to you; rather, it comes from the feeling that you are about to lose that special thing that is being shared – which, by sharing it, you are in danger of losing it. Of course, even people that feel no jealousy also have times when they fear losing something precious. It’s part of the human experience.

In my recent pursuit of happiness, I have finally come to distinguish the fine line of being jealous and envious. Now, don't get me wrong, it's understandable to get jealous once in a while (remember, it's human nature), but there's a difference between having a chronic issue rather than jealousy here and there- although, neither is healthy for the soul.

-S